The idea of enjoying sex after trauma may sometimes feel like an unreachable dream.

In fact, research shows survivors of intimate violence and sexual abuse may experience a lack of sexual desire. This includes difficulty becoming aroused or feeling pleasure.

And it’s not just that orgasms may be hard to achieve.

According to a 2012 study published in the International Journal of Sexual Health, sexual trauma survivors reported experiencing little to no sexual satisfaction during sexual encounters. Instead, they often associated feelings of shame and guilt with sexual activities.

Healing and building a sense of sexual empowerment after trauma is possible. The choice of whether or not to engage in sex, however, is that of the individual. Celibacy is also a valid choice, one that could become an important stepping-stone to learning more about yourself.

If you decide to embark on this journey, here are some resources and tips to help guide you toward personal and sexual healing.

Visit a health professional or therapist

Sexual problems such as pain, lack of desire or pleasure, as well as the inability to orgasm, may be caused by physiological or psychological issues. That’s why it’s important to consider seeking out trained professionals who can assist you in various aspects of healing.

Visiting a medical doctor is important for investigating physical concerns. On the other hand, finding a therapist with specialized training in sexual issues may be a significant factor in resolving psychological problems.

Before visiting a sex therapist, do research to check their reviews and confirm they have an advanced degree or any other certification, such as the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counsellors, and Therapists (AASECT).

If you are ready for a hand-on and pleasure-centered approach to sexual healing, you may want to consider therapy with a surrogate partner. While sex therapists do not touch their clients, surrogates partners do.

The most trusted surrogate partners are certified by the International Professional Surrogates Association (IPSA). Most of them are not trained therapists, but will work in conjunction with them when taking on clients.

To learn more about sexuality education and surrogate partners, visit the IPSA and AASECT websites.

Recognize there will be bumps

Recovering from sexual trauma, unfortunately, may not always be a simple journey.

A 2017 case study of a sexual assault survivor shows it may be necessary to experience some mental discomfort in order to spot and overcome negative patterns.

According to the journal article “Sex-Positive Assessment and Treatment Among Female Trauma Survivors,” effective therapy must also focus on trauma and sexuality at the same time. Focusing solely on reducing trauma symptoms can take away from the self-reflection necessary to understand your true value.

This process of untangling yourself from false and negative beliefs adopted due to sexual trauma may be uncomfortable or emotionally painful. However, it can benefit survivors by helping them gain knowledge about their sexual identity and comfort levels.

Enroll in sex ed

Remember the old adage knowledge is power? Well, it still holds true.

Sex-positive sex education programs can help survivors of sexual trauma gain a sense of sexual control and power. In fact, in one study women reported associated better knowledge about sexual pleasure and anatomy with feelings of sexual empowerment.

Feeling safe to speak openly in a supportive group environment about sexual interests were also factors that helped with sexual self-confidence.

Image sources: Tim Mossholder